Driving for Kids 2017

An ode to the Second Annual Driving for Kids Rally- September 23-25, 2017

Day 1

One year ago, we gathered together,
Twelve LBC’s enjoying Colorado weather
On scenic roads and fabulous sights,
To help struggling children in reaching new heights.

The inaugural rally of D for K,
Started a movement we continue today,
Now in 2017, we are 18 cars strong,
Back in Golden to continue the song.

Of raising money for kids at Round-up River,
So we conclaved at Haggerty’s with the hope to deliver
more funding for kids with chronic conditions,
All the Robbins plans come to fruition.

So 18 cars mustered-a “Reliability Run”,
But first some big questions, before we are done:
If we follow directions, as we’re told that we “oughta”
What’s with the Mercedes and the Mazda Miata?
The Mustang we get- it’s got Shelby bloodlines,
So for British car people the mustang is fine!
But to British car people other makes are just vermin,
Especially Japanese – much less a German!

And before we get on with this British car heaven,
We have some questions for the Westfield Seven:
How many guys needed to put on the top?
At quick changing canvas you’re really a flop!
But this question rises to the top of the rank-
Did they name your car for the size of your tank?

So off we went from Golden to Boulder,
Our morning coffee- we just had to hold ‘er.
For a bathroom stop at the Murphy Express
But Ross there’s a problem, I must confess!
For those who drink coffee-there’s a problem you see,
After an hour in the car, we just have to pee!
Your Murphy Express is a rest stop doom,
When the men and the ladies have only one room!
And while standing in line-try as we might,
We looked all over, but no trees in sight!

After lunch Mishawaka- up Cameron Pass,
We ran into weather; it was snowing alas!
On the trip up the canyon, I discovered more tasks
than writing poems and map reading that driver Rod asks!
You see in TR’s the defrosters really don’t work,
So navigators have jobs they really can’t shirk.
So out with a rag- didn’t matter which type.
When the windshield fogs up, you reach over and wipe.
And in Rodney’s car- here no slack I’m cuttin’
Intermittent wipers means when he holds the button!

Before going further; they’ll be no dissention,
There is royalty along and we simply must mention,
If you’re a Road and Track reader, you’ll know this name,
a writer who writes to international acclaim.
From Stoughton Wisconsin, driving a Lotus,
With words more compelling than those of the POTUS,
With his good wife Barbara, welcome “THE” Peter Eagan,
And because I promised rhymes, is your wife a vegan?

After stopping at Walden, through North Park we drove,
Viewing rain-misted mountains; aspens revealing their trove,
Over Rabbit Ears pass from mountain to vale,
The Earth’s greatest gifts, each hill and each dale,
From oranges and golds, nature’s paintbrush in green,
Oft shrouded in fog, adding mist to the scene,
Day number one ended in Steamboat Springs
Reflecting on beauty and all of the things,
That we had seen touring- a wonderful day,
To you Ross and Ann , we just have to say
Thanks for all that you’ve done getting this thing together,
But just one more request---- Can you please change the weather?


Day 2

As day 2 starts, we just can’t let go
of observations and questions we simply must know.
Inquiring minds who see all that we do
have questions begging answers from me and from you.

So Wally when you drive is it really a Gamble?
When you start up your TR and set out to amble.
We have one request, just manage this please,
Would you devise a system to take care of your keys?

And at dinner I discovered Annette and Art’s passion.
They both quality control engineers, after a fashion.
Which does beg the question, please just don’t quote us,
How can quality control geeks still drive a Lotus?
And at dinner I discovered Annette and Art’s passion.
They both quality control engineers, after a fashion.
Which does beg the question, please just don’t quote us,
How can quality control geeks still drive a Lotus?

And here’s a warning I simply must make
Steve and Carolyn’s intentions are clandestinely fake,
They drive in that Shelby taking pictures of all
But their intentions are evil- this issue’s not small!
You see under the guise of Driving for Kids,
Their videos and pictures will just blow your lids,
Next year when on taxes you claim this week’s miles,
The Thomton’s have pictures- make sure you smile!
And petrol and meals, all the deductions you claim?
You’ll be in the gallery of IRS fame!

But Andrew and Kitty, you get the prize,
You kept your top down in front of our eyes,
Is Kitty just struck by Andrew’s great cupid?
Top down in a snow storm, is it stubborn or stupid?

And Paul thanks for singing your John Denver tunes,
Your playing so skillful, and your voice it just croons.
But your Rover we followed was truly a fight,
Would you please ax those god-awful blinking tail lights?

So after breakfast we rallied to head north on route 40,
Waking up to blue skies for an incredible sortie.
We complained yesterday about the cold and the rain,
So kudos to the Robbins for the sunshine again!
Through the scenic Yampa valley with river beside,
You’ll not see those views in any travel guide.

Then a left on route 27 for a fabulous run,
On long sweeping turns, weren’t we having fun?
Doing 60 and 70 making LBC’s go,
The view of the pack was like “ducks in a row.”

But a question arose as we made that drive
We had not an answer, as hard as we’d strive.
As the lady in the truck at our cars she did stare,
What’s with a round-a-bout in the middle of nowhere?
But 27 was amazing for all of its view
With its sweepers and hairpins under skies azure blue,
This road was a keeper, you outdid yourself Ross,
Our drivers all channeling their inner Sterling Moss!

At Oak Creek we paused at a “one-holer” shop,
The line at the toilet made all of us stop.
But Ann we thank you, yes, we noticed, we did.
After using the toilet, you left up the lid!

Then on to Round River and some “Serious Fun”.
For lunch and for tours about the cause of this run.
This ranch on the river for kids struggling in life,
Is a cause and a passion for Ross and his wife!

We witnessed staff caring- we saw it firsthand,
Loving kids with conditions and daily demands,
We can hardly imagine- yet they handle with grace,
For a respite they come; from cross-country they race,
For a week in the mountains where they can be free
of the doctors and hospitals they daily see,
where they can exceed limits and can capture new sights,
But more important—they know how to accomplish new heights!

So we hope you are reminded how much we are blessed,
And after seeing today what was addressed,
You’ve a new raison d’etre for driving these days,
And feel blessed with a vision for what we just raised.

But before we leave the Ranch we have to salute,
Mark and Debbie skipping tours to be sewing recruits,
Together they repaired some wall-hanging art,
Debbie was sewing, but add to Mark’s cart,
the skills he’s acquired- he’s faster than a beetle,
At using his hands to string thread through a needle!
But even more special, on this we must linger,
He can do this without the use of one finger!
So now we know Mark as a pilot and a seamster,
A man of many talents- he is quite the teamster!
Before we just knew him as funny- you see,
Now we know he’s acquired an “Advanced BS degree”!

Then down through the canyon carved by the great river,
The grandeur and majesty only God can deliver,
The formations of rock soaring over our heads,
You’ll see them tonight as you lie down in bed!

Now a night at the Antlers of Glenwood Springs,
With hearts full of anticipation for what Monday brings,
Ann and Ross you’re the greatest, we all join to say,
Thanks again to the Robbins for another great day!


Day 3 - In the parking lot

Before we start the trip today—a comment and a warning,
First stop and take a look around—what a gorgeous morning!
But Tim Haas these next few lines for you and your 2-toned Healy,
So brace your back to hear these words- they’re not so “touchy-feely”.
You see Tim has noticed as he drives through every little town,
That people often stop and gaze as he motors down,
But Tim, you’re wrong if at the Healy you think the people stare,
It’s not the Healy they’re looking at; it’s your flowing silver hair!

Now for my warning of the day to help you on your drive,
It’s not just safety I’m thinking of – it may keep you alive!
So most have met Jeff Krueger and his car “No Turning Back”,
If you’ve wondered about his moniker; it’s context that you lack.
You see last year when driving down a gravel road,
Jeff Krueger he came flying by in his most serious mode,
He told us we had missed a turn, and convinced our little band,
He was cocksure, so we followed like kindergarteners hand in hand.
For 20 miles we followed him, back up that dusty track,
‘til finally we all knew him wrong, and thus “No Turning Back” !

You’ve heard of Wrong Way Marshall, the Minnesota Viking,
Who scooped up an errant fumble and to the other team’s liking,
He scored the winning touchdown like a laser beam,
But in the wrong end zone for the other team!
You’ve heard of wrong way Marshall, now this is “Wrong Way Jeff”,
So today don’t heed his leading—be it right or “leff”,
No matter if he rants or raves- or to your head he puts a Luger,
Do not listen to this man--- our famous “Wrong Way Krueger”!

To start Day 3 we headed up highway 82,
A scenic drive to Aspen; more colors we could view,
But first a minor detour up 6 and round a ridge,
Because Ross didn’t check that Glenwood was tearing down the bridge!
But Ross was right about 82 with its new-gained urban sprawl,
How many traffic lights can they add to slow traffic to a crawl?

In Aspen for a break we stopped in Shell Oil’s “spacious” lot
To Ross a spacious place means small -just a detail he forgot!
But that’s a minor detail of the many he’s remembered
To make this trip so memorable, in this a fine September.
And besides, it gave us all a chance to view the downtown Aspen,
Since the bathroom in Shell was a “one-holer”, for potties we were graspin”
I found one to relieve myself inside the Pitkin County Court,
Just hope it doesn’t end up in some Pitkin county tort!

Then up we got to touring up Independence Pass,
But tragedy befell us when we read the signs, alas,
For vehicles over 35 feet up the pass were not allowed,
Causing Ted Ax and Adrian in the sweep to leave our touring crowd.

They say comedy is tragedy, plus some passing time,
But for Ted and Adrian this long detour was far from the sublime.
Ted, we’re sorry for this mishap; we really owe you plenty,
If humor takes time, then Ross it’s funny, when Adrian reaches twenty!

For all the rest Independence was the trip’s piece de resistance !
It took our breaths away so many more times than once.
Though we were taking pictures, put the camera’s away instead,
Keep the colors and the vistas alive, captured memories in your head!

The view at the top was sweet, made sweeter by Sue’s fudge
But I can’t omit a comment giving Vic and Sue a nudge!
You see Sue’s car is her mini, with a Scottish flag atop,
Had Vic not allowed her to own this car, as a husband he would flop!
While her car was dear, the extra cost is on the roof,
If happy wife means happy life—here’s the living proof!
Don’t ask Vic what that painting costs, it’s a subject rather sore,
Whatever you might imagine—it probably cost them more!

And just a word or two about some other cars,
To make sure everyone who drove knows they truly are a star!
To Andrew in your “Eagle”, a striking TR4,
Please know that it’s not possible for us to thank you more,
Please know you do look “mahvalous”, why you’re a gift from heaven
We just can’t figure which is older, you or that ’67?

And Ralph and Dale Malewska, you of another TR,
Rod and I often mistakenly tried stepping in your car.
Two finest burgundy “Sixes”; it can’t get any better,
Together with Rod’s other, we are the trip trend setter!

And to Chuck and Emma Shinn, you of that Morgan yellow,
As far as I’m concerned, your car’s the trip’s best fellow.
When stopped once by a flat, you had to lift your hood,
That’s when we discovered craft, those Brits are really good.
‘Cause in a car so tight, there’s no room in the back,
So you lifted up your hood to find the tire jack!
And that yellow is amazing, such a striking scene,
Set off by fenders not of black, but of the deepest green!

And Ken and Barb Olendzki, we’ll give you one more chance,
If you try that lame excuse again, we won’t give you a glance.
Bring your Lotus on the next trip or face our deepest scorn.
Austrian or German, we’ll treat it as a thorn!

Then on to lunch at the Lariat, Buena Vista’s finest fare,
Together for our final stop of this our tour so rare,
So Ross and Ann we thank you even with a poke or two,
Poking fun means that we love you, and love you yes, we do!
So thanks for all your efforts to put this trip together,
It really was amazing and ended with great weather,
So please join me in applause for our tour guides extraordinaire,
If there’s a better trip; I have no idea where!

Ross and Ann: Thanks for a fabulous and very profitable trip for Round-Up River Ranch!

Bruce Jansen September, 2017